Fatherless Men: Dating In St. Petersburg (Part3)

I apologize for the lengthy periods of postings of the continuation “Dating In St.Petersburg” series. Life takes over, but for the most part I was lazy, but whatever the case here we go. Last post, I went through qualities men display when they grow up without a Father. Now, continuing from there I’ll start with 6-10..

6. Lack of respect — Fathers who don’t show up for their sons exemplify disrespect. That’s what they teach their sons, and that’s what their sons, as men, carry with them.

7. An unfilled void — Boys without fathers usually feel incomplete. As men, many try to fill this void with alcohol, drugs, sex, violence and other self-destructive behaviors.

8. Distorted view of sex — Many fatherless boys have a lot of unanswered questions about sex, which is an uncomfortable topic they are not likely to discuss with their moms. In manhood, they often avoid talking about sex or seeking the kind of practical advice that leads to creating healthy and whole relationships.

9. Troubles with love — Boys without fathers often equate love with vulnerability. In adulthood, these men often have issues trusting others in matters of the heart.

Provided by Charlottepant.com

Men lacking respect comes from a variety of different reasons but where its’ born from the father’s who are unable to keep promises, driven by anger, or beta mentalities. If a boy grows up and sees his father being ran over by his mother he is going to grow up making sure it doesn’t happen in his relationships through how he controls his girlfriend.

As being a recently retired PUA, I resonate with anyone who are trying to fill a void. I always told myself I was on a journey to find a good woman, but slowly but surely if I wasn’t talking to a girl I felt worthless. Fatherless children almost always have a void to fill, without that MAN in the house to give him validation, identity and swagger. The boy uses other avenues to grant him the same feeling THAT only a father can give. In his relationships, the unresolved anger for the father is often misdirected to the current girlfriend or wife. The lack of identity makes the man insecure and it’s more likely it will birth mistrust toward his spouse or girlfriend. Growing up without a Father had me feel very incomplete. The void effects your decision making during the teenage chapter of your life.

Remember when you needed an important decision,  you look at the phone.. wanting to call your Dad but you hesitate because he hasn’t been there for you on a regular basis. In relationships, 1 girl will never be enough for you. You’ll adopt an unquenchable thirst for sex, drugs or whatever is your poison because that momentary high and validation is all you “think” you want. Without a Father to give you the stamp of validation, it’s more than likely any man will go down a self-destructive path. My father wasn’t around for me to ask the important questions I needed to know. So, like any other teen I let social media, friends and personal experience answer the questions for me. With no advice developing relationships with girls became difficult and stressing. When a boy doesn’t receive the right advice about developing relationships, he receives his information externally. (Stories through others, Social media, life experiences…)

And lastly, troubles with love.  Men, don’t confused love with vulnerability. In relationships the the adult male wouldn’t allow himself to emote in front of his girlfriend. She will constantly fight for him to show that he cares but instead of letting her know how he feels he will lose her.

 

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Posted on September 3, 2012, in Women and Dating and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Very nice post. Thanks for sharing it. 🙂

    Like

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